The Courage to be Seen: Reclaiming My Voice Through the Breath
Right now, I am in the middle of a deep, transformative journey: my Conscious Connected Breathwork (CCB) training.
The breath has been my sanctuary for a long time. During my Kundalini Yoga teacher training, I fell in love with Pranayama—the art of directing life force. Breathing is, quite simply, the best tool I have. It has carried me through the most difficult chapters of my life, acting as a bridge back to myself when I feel lost.
I started this training feeling so much fire and confidence. Until I had to face the camera.
The Old Ghost of "Speaking Up"
As part of the training, I have to record myself and speak directly to the camera. The moment I have to share these videos, all my fears bubble up.
I’m realizing this fear is a ghost from my past. When I was little, I loved dancing on stage, but speaking was different. I grew up with voices constantly correcting me. I had a teacher who was always on top of how I spoke, and at home, I felt I had to walk on eggshells—being corrected or faced with anger depending on what I said.
Those moments taught my nervous system that being "seen" or "heard" wasn't safe. I was seen in ways that hurt
The Conflict: Fear vs. Necessity
The most difficult part is the paradox: I have a deep, soul-level necessity to be seen and heard. This is exactly why the fear feels so paralyzing. When you don’t care about something, it’s easy to do. But because my heart wants to be witnessed, the stakes feel incredibly high. The fear of being exposed—of showing up and being "wrong" again—feels like a threat to my very survival. It’s a tug-of-war between the part of me that wants to hide to stay safe and the part of me that needs to express itself to feel alive.
How the Breath Keeps Me Moving
It is the breath that is giving me the strength to stay in this conflict and bridge the gap.
As a core part of my training, I do a long, deep CCB session every week. These sessions are where the real transformation happens. It is in this space that I do the "heavy lifting"—clearing out those old stories of being "too much" or "not enough." These weekly deep dives give me the internal resilience I need to push forward.
Then, in the moments before I hit "record," I use small, intentional breathing techniques to regulate my nervous system. I tell my body: "You are safe to be heard now." The breath turns that "unsafe" feeling into a sense of grounded presence.
Finding Courage Through Others
The true turning point came when I shared my fear out loud with my mentors at Breathing Space. Telling them about my perfectionism and my anxiety about my words felt like a weight lifting.
The support from both of them was the "push" I needed:
One mentor shared his own journey, admitting he felt exactly the same way during his training. Knowing he once stood in my shoes made me realize: if he can move through that silence, so can I.
My other mentor gave me a beautiful perspective. She reminded me that when we facilitate a CCB session, the participants will feel incredibly vulnerable. We have to be ready to hold space for them—and I can only do that if I am willing to walk through my own vulnerability first.
Little by Little
I am still scared. Every time I share something, the anxiety is there, my heart races, and my hands sweat. But I am doing it anyway.
I’m moving forward each day with kindness. No forcing. Just small steps, weekly deep breaths, and the courage to finally be seen for who I truly am. My voice, even if it trembles or has an accent, deserves its space in the world.
Do you ever feel like your voice gets "stuck"? You aren't alone. Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is simply say the fear out loud and take one more breath.
With love and breath,
MJ 🌿
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